Life Experience

The last time I cried was about grade 10 I think. For some trivial reason that isn't relevant until this moment.

Well technically I've cried twice in a week now. Today has been a trying day. I am in the midst of it as I type this.
I've decided that I am crying because I miss home... even though I've only lived at Toronto home for 2 months... but that is definitely what I mean. I miss everything that comforted me. It's not even because I'm intimidated by school anymore. I've decided that excelling is no longer important... and yet I still cry. The sounds I make are strange to me, and it just makes me cry more.
I'm looking for the peace that such storms promise at the end. But they dont come, and I continue the storm.

I want to go home. But most importantly, I want to not want to go home. I want to not feel this. Not be affected by every little thing. My nose is congested now. I know that if I have enough will and shut my mouth I would be able to stop all this.

One thing is for sure, I'm not ladylike in crying at all. Violent is the best way to describe this experience right now.

I guess I should go back to reading about stocks and bonds again...

tears are of the moment. and I so desire the moment right now. think of nothing else...

-L

Homer song

"dough - the stuff, that gets me beer
ray - the guys that sells me beer,
me - the guy, that drinks the beer,
far - a long run to get the beer...
so - i'll have another beer...
la - i'll have another beer...
tea? no thanks i'm drinking beer!
that would bring us back to DOUGH!"

-Homer Simpson

-L

One Month Review

okay, so university started off pretty slow, but it sped up in like one week. so that was surprising.

assignments - I stay up till 3 am on a regular basis... thus that is a bad thing. must correct in the near future.
tests - i dont want to talk about it
and I have nothing else to say...

note to self - sign up online for stockmarket competition DURING THE WKEND!!! pay money!!

PS: life is good. =)

9 hrs and 30 mins before first day of CLASS

Yup. It's looming in front of me like a fog of festering mosquitoes. Somehow, that can make sense.

I feel apprehensive, I suppose. Or, I feel calm. What I almost want to feel but not get make it there is apathy. It is unfortunate.

Anyway, I don't have most of my textbooks - need to get them fast. Need to opt out of insurance. Need to do laundry. Need to find my iPod plug thingie - or find out where it is so I can feel whichever way about it when I know.

But all in all, uni life is going okay so far. =)
Hope it lasts.

-L

Waterloo. First look.

Well, this is indeed a strange experience. my roommate already refers to our dorm as home after 1 day of existence here... I STILL can't imagine that I will be living here for 8 months consecutively and 5 yrs in total... shocking. This place feels like camp, as my roommate first put it... and as time went on I begin to feel a bit of china camp in this place... altho the shower stalls are MUCH better XD

Caf - same food every day - I know I will get sick of it soon, very soon. thanks lisa for the not-so-comforting heads up =P
Washrooms - passable. they have cheap toilette paper... but usually there's not many ppl in there (or maybe cuz iz frosh week) but hopefully it stays as quiet (whenever I go to shower/etc) during the year
Room - big. 3 windows. am on the edge of a quad so I see in 3 directions clearly and am VERY close to all those lovely buildings =P
Lounge - quite nice - altho WAY more active during the wee hours of the night than during the day ... >.> hopefully thaz just frosh
Rez - pretty good. I find it better than REV (even tho they get lamps and full size mirrors) because their halls/rooms feel so motel-like (not even hotel-like =P)

The People - some are kindred spirits, some are not. that's to be expected. but there seemed to be a similar person to almost every person I've known in HS... SCARRRY... the world doesnt vary that much, I guess.

The Campus - Well... I've only seen the north of UW and a section of WLU... UW is better - feels more like a school instead of a couple of buildings along the side of a main road >.> ... the MC/DC buildings are kewl - wOOp.

We shall see what happens during the school year. Am scared of calc/alg... also freaked about biz (the presentation they gave was startling... meh XD) ... but generally dont feel too bad - even tho I feel I shud... maybe this is a bad sign... we'll see what happens XD

Overall I like my place. it's quite nice ... altho frosh is a bit over the top, and I'm just too antisocial for those events XD

Anyway, gonna have my ELPE in 2 hours... hope I pass.

-L