The last time I cried was about grade 10 I think. For some trivial reason that isn't relevant until this moment.
Well technically I've cried twice in a week now. Today has been a trying day. I am in the midst of it as I type this.
I've decided that I am crying because I miss home... even though I've only lived at Toronto home for 2 months... but that is definitely what I mean. I miss everything that comforted me. It's not even because I'm intimidated by school anymore. I've decided that excelling is no longer important... and yet I still cry. The sounds I make are strange to me, and it just makes me cry more.
I'm looking for the peace that such storms promise at the end. But they dont come, and I continue the storm.
I want to go home. But most importantly, I want to not want to go home. I want to not feel this. Not be affected by every little thing. My nose is congested now. I know that if I have enough will and shut my mouth I would be able to stop all this.
One thing is for sure, I'm not ladylike in crying at all. Violent is the best way to describe this experience right now.
I guess I should go back to reading about stocks and bonds again...
tears are of the moment. and I so desire the moment right now. think of nothing else...
-L
5 comments:
...-pats-
i feel bad for being the 1st commenter - -;;
=( *pats*
I am unsure if I have been influenced by Lisa about the dependency of home though...
remember how "Shi shang mei you bu san de yian xi"? well, it's the same thing for storms... there's no neverending storm. it will pass, and you'll live - don't forget that, it doesn't matter how deep of a pile of shit you're in, YOU ARE ALIVE, and you will live through this, grow stronger, and be ready to tackle on new challenges in life. After that you'll be able to laugh about it. What doesn't kill you delay the inevitable - I mean, make you stronger... >_>"
NOOOO I SCREWED UP PIN YIN!!!
*yan xi
lolz thx =) I'm feeling better now. Altho now I'm just tired.
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