Sigh

Failure cannot be avoided...

On a side note, even for short messages like these, I would not use twitter... it's too public... there's twitter LIVE FEED... holy smokes.

-L

Gmail...

Not cool. I just had 10 consecutive "wrong password" messages from gmail... this is a sign for me to change my email man...

-L

New Year's Resolution (yes, I'm procrastinating)

Self Improvement:
Winter Term:
1. Max 30 minutes everyday on Facebook/Ether/Email (except for work email)
2. Read one book every 2 weeks (GEB first on list =])
3. Read online stuff as found.
4. Attend Fitness classes.
5. Perhaps dance too...
5. Be punctual.

Social Improvement:
Spring Term:
1. Make connections. Talk to a new person every week.
2. Club every 2 weeks. Stress relief.
3. Closure.

Focus.

-L

It's a brand new world...

no more calculus!!!

no more lin alge (forgot to update earlier...teehee)!!!

-L

Hell

Math239 Midterm tmr. Fail rate = 90% Update: I dont THINK I failed... but can't be sure...
Update 2: Fuck My Life. I died in this -_-


Essay due Thurs. Will spend all of Friday doing this (Update: nope)... until my eyes are gnawed out and my mind goes insane... (Update: yes... after watching mindless shows)
Update 2: due in 2 days. <________< c'monnnn --__--

Math235 Midterm Tues. Wkend cramming required.
Update 2: w/e. crashed and burned on all the easy stuff... yay nonexistant memory.


OB Test3 Wed. Wkend cramming required again. <- w/e to this.
Update 2: Not doing this. So final is now worth 60%. yay.

After this week I shud be able to breathe... sigh.

-L

IDC Canada

Yay first time first round came through! =)

So I will be at Toronto mulling over survey data for four months. Sounds like fun XD (I'm actually NOT being sarcastic hehe)

Hopefully I'll also be able to get some .NET in as well. And of course, SPSS.

Cheers.

-L

Honorary Quote (for the Quote List, but I have no room so...)

...And by friendly, I don't mean the "inviting your friend over to play a new game, but then hogging the controller the whole time and won't let him anywhere near it. So he sat there for 5 hours just watching you play, and even tried to use the puppy dog eyes on you, but you just laughed at him and said he looked stupid. Finally he just flipped out and threw your Nintendo against the wall, punched your dog in the face and kicked over your TV. Of course you then ratted him out and when his mom came over, she broke both his legs, and made him mow your lawn for 5 years straight." kind of friendly. Damn you Billy, you selfish sonnamabeech.

-from allkpop, as requested by Chenie as well as my own uncontrollable bouts of laughter when I read this (no matter how many times I read it before...)

-L

CogSci

Failure is inevitable... Whaaa I just want this day to be OVERRRRR =[ BAD

On alternate news, last night's Dragonette concert was BLOODY AWESOME!!! As good as expected, maybe better =] Got signature!!! Yeah I now have experienced a moment of groupie mentality XD omggg cute drummer boy!!! <3

-L

Back to School...

I am now at loo, unpacked and all (cept no way am I taking any clothes out of my luggage)...

Far, but nice view though =)

-L

Not Kewl Man...

USD paid using Canadian Credit Card is just NOT kewl... the exchange rate becomes 1.13 something, totally not reflecting current exchange rates...

Evil, money-grubbing bastards...

This means War.

Update: I lost. XD Oh well, lesson learned.

-L

Gone is the Wisdom, in Place: Pain and Suffering...

Wednesday:

7:25 AM: Wake... eat nothing. brush teeth.

8:05 AM: Get to Dental Surgeon office about 5 minutes late. Fill out insurance... Make new appointment.

8:05 - 8:15?AM: Wait (two others are called in, presumably just checking (because they've already done the deed...)

8:15 - 8:40?AM: Administrative work in THE Chair. Signing the waiver...

8:40ishAM: Inject THE Drug into IV placed on the BACK OF MY HAND... the needle was quite painful... the nurse goes: the worst part is over...

She says, "Think of a peaceful place..."

10:30?AM: I am in a different chair, reclined, in a different room, presumably the waiting to leave room... nurse gives me an ice pack to my face... there are tissue-like gauze sticking out of my mouth...

First thought: who carried me here? what happened.

About 5 minutes later, Mom is ushered in... we stay for 20 minutes more. After I am able to walk to a garbage can 2 meters away and back, I am deemed okay and discharged.

We go home... I take one of the Tylenol 3 given by the surgeon. Mom goes to buy painkillers/antibiotics.

I am fine. Feel no pain. Ice pack is very cold...

2-3 Hours later, I go to washroom to change gauze... apparently standing up combined with that Tylenol I took hours ago was a bad combination... It was chocolate pudding... at least I had relatively good aim...

I am lying down for most of the day... I am bored at night, so I get on computer... lamenting ensues...


Thursday (Now):

8:00AM: I am awakened. Possibly by the light shining through my window? My mouth aches but otherwise pain is reduced from the day before.

9:00AM: I get up, take out gauze, walk around for a bit, get on computer (made Chen morbid)... listened to music... took antibiotic. Waiting for food to cool... which brings me to now... I'm gonna go eat...

To be continued... (maybe)

-L

Not kewl...

I just got ten thousand mosquito bites everywhere...

one right under my neck (as in it looks like a necklace -.-), one on the back of my right hand near the bone of the wrist, one about an inch down from that same bone, one on my right elbow (my right arm is evidently tastier), one next to my left eye (yes, EYE, as in FACE)... and gawd knows where else that hasnt started being red and/or itchy yet...

=[

-L

Monkey see monkey do...

2 more notes to add to my previous post:

1. I hate papercuts... especially when it's a huge scar-gash on my thumb made by a FOLDER... yes, no more papercuts, but cardboard cuts... oh it runs deep =[ And before coming up on the elevators from lunch I decided to use the hand sanitizers... they have alcohol in them =[ ...

2. I had always thought, until this week - the final week, that to open the doors from the inside one had to push on the door to instigate its automatic movement (because they are heavy). Apparently not. On monday/tuesday I saw a co-worker just STAND in front of the door and a second later it swung open. Now I know. I must've looked quite idiotic and/or constantly hurried when pushing on the door all those times... >.>

-L

What I've learned... CO-OP 1

So I just had my 5 minute evaluation from my boss... which sort of inspires me to write a little summary of some general observations as well as what I learned at my time here at Finance and things I need to learn in the future to ... generally be awesome (=P):

(I did not list these in order of importance)

1. I like to work - when there is work. I don't seem to mind the type of work, as long I am motivated by the underlining purposes, which I was here. Indolence makes me tired, sick, and creates further lethargic behaviours.
2. I hate not being focused. I can't seem to do personal "work" when I am at work... this better not be some underlining ethics issue, or I shall be pissed.
3. I like my boss. A nice person who's just a little off (which I like!), and whose certain actions makes me giggle. XD. He is very helpful and real... tells it like it is! I appreciate that, more than I knew.
4. Working for the government without understanding French is not fun... I have a sneaking doubt that my boss cannot speak French either. Kudos to us! But learning this language is now a lifetime goal... SOB
5. I really like Post-It Notes, of many sizes. Both doodling and writing actual useful/important correspondences/reminders are AWESOME on Post-Its.
6. I am a perfectionist in regards to REALLY UNimportant things... like scanning a document: if it's tilted just a bit... redo the whole thing (which is like 20 pages). I need to change this outlook.
7. I hate printers. Evidently the feeling is mutual.
8. I like MS Outlook.
9. It takes me an abysmally long time to draft/edit email correspondences. Speed this!
10. I need to be more detail-oriented. I have never understood the full impact of this quality. Now I do. "Minor" mistakes are way too embarassing, when amassed (which I have a tendency to do). I will need to make the radar that are these wandering eyes to be more focused and able to detect those "minor" errors...
11. Talk properly, woman! It's all good in my head. It's all good on paper. My ideas are out there, my points expressed. But this SPEAKER SYSTEM needs MAJOR improvement... maybe some bolts and screws are OFF... ::mumble mumble::


Some other notes outside of work:
1. I LOVE my friends! I LOVE doing new and interesting stuff, whether I'm coerced to it or not! (it's like: no duh =P but it means a lot). I shall seek out new things to do in the future... be coerced as well as coerce others. ;)
2. I dont mind watching movies in theatre by myself... I actually feel more focused that way. YAY District 9!!!


on a still reflective note: I need to read that book yo... and study that evil thing =[


-L

Marvellous - Dragonette

I <3 this song. From the arabian beats at the beginning to the sudden "I just can't STOP - " ::enters the sudden vibrant chorus:: to the offbeat feel of the song... it's quite random and makes me groove and laugh and all the feelings in between.

...and the lyrics too, yes I'll admit. =P

Now I'm embedding some Dragonette tracks onto me bloggie... muahaha =]

-L

I changed my blog title...

... because the new layout was too inspiring.

ah yes, lay on the cynicism and eye-rolling smirks.

-L

In the closing three weeks of summer (until the 5th)...

Not that such lists ever helped me accomplish things, but here's trying:

1) Study... I will say 1 hour a day, wont prolong to wkends... XD
2) Practice... 30 minutes a day during week days, and however bloody long I want for wkends (1 hours? XD)
3) Help Lisa with the site, either during boredom under these florescent lights, or during reprieve.
4) Calm the fuck down and draw/write something worthwhile (havent done this in a long time)
5) Last minute hang-outs (must contact!)
6) Maintenance duties (laundry, clean, etc)

-L

I squint as if such a physiological action would elicit some profound concentration or enlightenment that would unveil a hidden part of my mind and provide me with the insight necessary for comprehension...

This applies to reading, listening, and other sensory actions...

It must come from my near-sightedness and how squinting has worked (somewhat) during its earlier stages. Sigh. The trickery of memory...

-L

first time trying this...

So evidently I can't go on gmail (I already knew that)...

But I can go on blog... I hope it's not against policy. IT will hunt me down, but then at least they will fix my PC from self-rebooting...

Okay, my home laptop and my work PC are exhibiting similar symptoms. The only connecting factor? Besides Microsoft, would be me XD. Probably just a correlation. I think.

I feel the drowning laziness coming over me as I contemplate buying a new laptop... I guess I will wait until christmas >.>

Be checking out that guitar (or many) this Friday though, should be rad. =]

-L

Affirmation

So it was actually 2 hours, not 2.5 (which was plenty of time, I suppose).

The questions left me with an uneasy feeling... but let's hope I somehow made it past 50%. It's not so much dread, as I have no fucking idea what happened (not so much the material, but just... the process?). ::zombie::

Anyway, the affirmation is that I will not do economics anymore... this course was required (I better pass), but anything beyond... no way man - or maybe I just had a generally neutral/negative experience with econ courses... (one AP, one in-class, and one DE - prolly not the best combination, but I'll just stop it here) Speaking of which, this is how I ruled out science... it's working out so far XD, not that I know any other perspective.

That's the end... closing the MANY chapters of economics.


Psych is kewl though (but I only had one DE, so I'll see after the in-class one coming fall...) XD

-L

Failure rate...

... is very high... (and I mean the 50% one yo XD)

doom is inevitable.

Sigh, should have paid more attention to the evils of Microeconomics... I bet there wont be graphs provided =[

2.5 hrs... is that enough to brute force reason through 20 T/F 20 MC and 3 Calculations? XD

We shall see then.


-L

Another addition to my quote list XD

Floating on a sea of hands.
Some deceived. Some just need.
Some have helped me find my home.

- Summer Channel "A Thousand Miles"


-L

MJ Tribute: Thriller

Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood

And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell



The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom

And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller


... and definitely not the thriller of Michael Jackson

Rest in Peace.


-L

Diamonds are Forever

Diamonds are Forever

Diamonds are forever,
They are all I need to please me,
They can stimulate and tease me,
They won't leave in the night,
I've no fear that they might desert me.
Diamonds are forever,
Hold one up and then caress it,
Touch it, stroke it and undress it,
I can see every part,
Nothing hides in the heart to hurt me.

I don't need love,
For what good will love do me?
Diamonds never lie to me,
For when love's gone,
They'll luster on.

Diamonds are forever,
Sparkling round my little finger.
Unlike men, the diamonds linger;
Men are mere mortals who
Are not worth going to your grave for.

I don't need love,
For what good will love do me?
Diamonds never lie to me,
For when love's gone,
They'll luster on.

Diamonds are forever, forever, forever.
Diamonds are forever, forever, forever.
Forever and ever.

Happy Canada Day!

Jazz Fest Today =]

Gonna laze around then enjoy the rest of the day dt. funfun ^^

-L

Need to watch...

The Godfather. (and the series perhaps)

WITH subtitles. without is just pointless.

-L

To read

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel García Márquez

this might be hard considering I dont have my lib card here >_> guess I'll find it in a book store some place...

-L

Back to Ottawa

I'm in my new room. Quite nice. With Internet.

My physical needs are met.

I shall report on whether the job happens or not later.

Till Wednesday.

Update:

Still at home on Thurs... Gawd, when will those security ppl finish T_T

Till this afternoon.

Update 2:

Work on Monday. Oh gawd, gotta get stuff done before then...

This wkend = skewl work!

-L

Terminator: Salvation

Not as good as the hype suggested, or as good as I expected (from being a fan of the previous terminator movies)... so slightly disappointing.

The movie seemed to have fed on "suspense" points where you jump back as a metallic being appears behind the main character... gets old after a while...

I rlly disliked christian bale in this role... too much batman ambiance -.- absolutely hated the wife... we don't need any wide-eyed, permanent mascara-eyed (even though we're in war zone where even food is scarce) innocent girl -.-

However, I LUVED kyle reese character (heheh also very cute), LUVED the marcus character too (too bad he has to die "for the greater good"), and the pilot girl (the story line between these characters was FAR more interesting than the john connor thing -.- Here is the saving (or savalation teehee) grace.

Special effects were superb, as they should be - or else it wouldn't be a modern film. nothing too awe-inspiring.

Out of the four movies (star trek, wolverine, angels and demons, terminator), I will put this as the worst (even more so than wolverine?? yawr cuz I expected less from wolverine and it still delivered... I don't hold well w/ disappointment =( ...)

Recommended? Sure if you're a terminator fan... but really if you had to pick, go with the other choices =P

-L

Angels and Demons

It was better than expected (FAR superior to Da Vinci Code - but that's not saying much).

It followed the action plot of the book VERY closely - which was a smart move (since the book was awesome)... lost some of the personal depth that was present in the book, but it's understandable considering the running time - and managed to be entertaining while still presenting the message (without TOO MUCH of the watered down, middle-of-the-road lack of intensity)

Some of the dialogue seemed awkward (omg Tom Hanks... what happened -.-) and there was a tad bit too much explanation for it to seem normal (it was okay in the book, since ... well it's a book about stuff most people don't know/care to know about, so tons of explanation is necessary)... It's tolerable.

Action bits: Tom Hanks - not bad. There were bits that made me flinch, as intended, so kudos to that.

I dont know if this is a fault, but the movie gave me a slight emotional attachment to the Catholic faith. I suppose it put the priests/vaticans on a more personal level than I am used to. I rather appreciate that.

One thing I felt was weak: the movie was covered in Ron Howard's let's all agree and not hurt anyone's feelings movie-making agenda. But it can't be helped... and it still managed to pull through decent, good job.


I recommend it. Slightly less than highly. But definitely worth watching.

-L

Star Trek

I love it; it's epic.

Very snazzy graphics, to be expected.

Spock is awesome, hawt, and so mine =P ::SIZZLE:: XD

"I'm going to be monitoring your frequencies." - HAWT line =P

XDDD HIGHLY recommended even for non-trekkies (which I used to be before this movie haha XD)

-L

"Live long and prosper." ::does the vulcan greeting:: XD

Memorable bits in The Unbearable Lightness of Being

All languages that derive from Latin form the word "compassion" by combining the prefix meaning "with" (com-) and the root meaning "suffering" (Late Latin, passio). In other languages - Czech, Polish, German, and Swedish, for instance - this word is translated by a noun formed of an equivalent prefix combined with the word that means "feeling" (Czech, sou-cit; Polish, wspol-czucie; German, Mitgefuhl; Swedish, med-kansla).

- funny in Chinese is 同情 - meaning 同: same, 情: feeling. guess Chinese is not derived from Latin teehee XD

Einmal ist keinmal - What happened but once, might as well not have happened at all. if we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all.

Es muss sein - It must be.

... he closed his eyes. The pleasure suffusing his body called for darkness. That darkness was pure, perfect, thoughtless, visionless; that darkness was without end, without borders; that darkenss was the infinite we each carry within us. (Yes, if you're looking for infinity, just close your eyes!)
And at the moment he felt pleasure suffusing his body, Franz himself dissolved into the infinity of his darkness, himself becoming infinite. But the larger a man grows in his own inner darkness, the more his outer form diminishes. A man with closed eyes is a wreck of a man.

There is always the small part that is unimaginable... What is unique about the "I" hides itself exactly in what is unimaginable about a person. All we are able to imagine is what makes everyone like everyone else, what people have in common. The Individual "I" is what differs from the common stock, that is, what cannot be guessed at or calculated, what must be unveiled, uncovered, conquered.

...there was nothing more difficult to capture than the human "I". There are many more resemblances between Hitler and Einstein or Brazhnev and Solzhenitsyn than there are differences. Using numbers, we might say that there is one-millionth part dissimilarity to nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine millionths parts similarity.

To be sure, the millionth part dissimilarity is present in all areas of human existence, but in all areas other than sex it is exposed and needs no one to discover it, needs no scalpel... Only in sexuality does the millionth part dissimilarity becomes precious, because, not accessible in public, it must be conquered. As recently as fifty years ago this form of conquest took considerable time (weeks, even months!), and the worth of the conquered object was proportional to the time the conquest took.


Men who pursue a multitude of women fit neatly into two categories. Some seek their own subjective and unchanging dream of a woman in all women. Others are prompted by a desire to possess the endless variety of the objective female world.

The obsession of the former is lyrical: what they seek in women is themselves, their ideal, and since an ideal is by definition something that can never be found, they are disappointed again and again. The disappointment that propels them from woman to woman gives their inconstancy a kind of romantic excuse, so that many sentimental women are touched by their unbridled philandering.

The obsession of the latter is epic, and women see nothing the least bit touching in it: the man projects no subjective ideal on women, and since everything interests him, nothing can disappoint him. This inability to be disappointed has something scandalous about it. The obesession of the epic womanizer strikes people as lacking in redemption (redemption by disappointment).


The brain appears to possess a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful.
I have said before that metaphors are dangerous. Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say, love begins at the point when a woman enters her first word into our poetic memory.


We all need someone to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under.

The first catergory longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public.
...
The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. They are the tireless hosts of cocktail and parites and dinners. They are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they lose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. This happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. People in the second category, on the other hand, can always come up with the eyes they need.
...
Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the people they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of the people in the first category. One day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark.
...
And finally there is a fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers...


There's no particular merit in being nice to one's fellow man... We can never establish with certainty what part of our relations with others is the result of our emotions - love, antipahty, charity, or malice - and what part is predetermined by the constant power play among individuals.

True human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power.

Mandkind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals.

Another image also comes to mind: Nietzsche leaving his hotel in Turin. Seeing a horse and a coachman beating it with a whip, Nietzsche went up to the horse and, before the coachman's very eyes, put his arms around the horse's neck and burst into tears.

That took place in 1889, when Nietzsche, too, had removed himself from the world of people. In other words, it was at the time when his mental illness had just erupted. But for that very reason I feel his gesture has broad implications: Nietzsche was trying to apologize to the horse for Descartes. His lunacy (that is, his final break with mankind) began at the very moment he burst into tears over the horse.

And that is the Nietzsche I love... I see [him]...stepping down from the road along which mankind, "the master and proprietor of nature", marches onward.


-L

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

So I took this book out on Monday (not on a whim, but close enough), and I thought it was quite intriguing and read it - I finished it just about 1 hr ago. So it was a weeklong experience... approximately 300 pages, and it is the best book I've ever read so far.

Let me elaborate a little: So this book is about, at its surface, a man and a woman an about their relationship and about the man's many infedelities (with one in particular of interest) and of how the woman deals with that - but mostly it's about their lives and their experiences and how their initial views are shaped by these expereinces and about how their paths are shaped by their views, unknown to them at the time... I know that was just a complete pointless ramble but seriously it's what came to mind.

The book is almost a philosophy book, in rank with Rand with a dash of Palahniuk (I would say - mostly because of the subject matter and the way things are described through actions rather than speech - which is mostly rand's preference). I do not have enough of a literary background to make any quality comparisons and to really justify or explain how this work has touched me. Its views on existance, on society, on happiness, on love, on politics, on... almost every facet of life (so aptly illustrated in 300 short pages) is absolutely amazing. Even things I may not agree all of it, it struck a chord. A beautiful masterpiece.

I would like to quote this book - but I can't because I want to quote almost every page, so that would just be very tiresome and the point defeated. So instead I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone (unless you get squeamish about certain subject matter - then you should just go sit in a corner =P). Enjoy.

-L

Little Wonders - Rob Thomas

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain

-L

Some actual blogging...

I've been feeling lowww these past few days... parents also feeling lowww (taxes and stuff)... so I just want to write the stuff I plan to accomplish this coming week (without DE classes) and subsequently this summer (no particular order):

This week:
1. Go to workshop; try not embarass self too badly and try not to feel embarassed (Mon) - make sure to meet at 5 dt
2. Find music shop and buy E string for violin
3. Constant job search
4. Take every chance to drive
5. Buy some necessities; earphones, moisturizer
6. Lock fb like 1985.

This month:
1. Get a job. Work.
2. Get Micro txt
3. Do DE; concentrate more on psych (since micro just requires a pass)
4. Get License.
5. Rekindle my lost violin skill
6. Get money to buy guitar -.-
7. Sax maybe??? (okay, no XD)
8. Remember to do some stuff I enjoy, and some I never tried.
9. Go to 'loo, and Ottawa... and San Francisco =P (if possible)

Good luck, self.

P.S. to read: The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera

-L

Apr 24

I thought yesterday that yesterday (which is today as i write this msg) was friday... but i was wrong.

btw I wrote something in comments for the previous day after u were gone... to explain my shady absence... teehee

-L

Apr 23

- sigh -

XD

-L

Apr 22 EARTH DAY!!!

SCARY, BORED, EVIL ppl do long distance prank calls... "I know where you live" ::insert pyscho music::

hahah and nvm apparently i put ur unmentionable into a bag after I washed it so it's easily recognizable; no amount of exploration is needed XD

and I'm going to bed now... talk to you later today =P

-L

Apr 21

Move out day... >.> in the evening >.>

note to self: return keys before 3 -.- ...

-L

Apr 20

Stats test today... last thing - gonna fail like effing crazy, not even funny at all... like shit son, you f'ed -.-

but i'll still be here before doom to reply to all inquiries, comments, and stuff... XD

-L

Apr 17

Resting day (tho I shud be stats-ing)

and to answer your q's for yesterday:
during exam - felt like crap ... and wasted time because meh
sweet I want the pencils!!! XD
my face is permanently like this now: o(╯□╰)o =P it'll be like this for the WHOLE ENTIRE summer, yo XD

-L

Apr 15

CS Study Day... like that's gonna happen.

I might have to resort to prayer >.> naww

-L

Apr 14

Failure rate: 100%

Current Status: NOT studying -.-

I'll see you on the other side. (aka at 12pm) >.>

-L

Apr 13

Mon. study day.

calc tmr. funfun >.>

I luv frozen flower. XDDD

-L

Apr 9

Biz exam today... yay XD

-L

Apr 8

First exam... let's see how it goes... >.>

afterwards - i'll be biz-ing XD

-L

Apr 7

day before exam... me start studying >.> TWO omgz >.>

and no, u're not gonna fail pd...

-L

Apr 6

2 days to study, starting now. 2 subjects... (biz is like w/e >.>) but alge omgggggggz

-L

I hate jobmine.

Apr 3

In case I forget again...

last day of lectures... hope I dont slack off when I go back to T. on sat XD

I went to 4 lectures today - 3 alge, 1 calc >.>

-L

Apr 2

Interview day.

And I saw it before (obviously); thanks =) wish me luck ^^

well then, one for the experience books >.>

-L

Apr 1

for fools.

-L

Mar 31

Tues = interview prep day XD + reading stats and feeling doom day XD

so did i do any of the above during this day of resting?

nope.

-L

Birthday.

March 29.

...welcoming a productive and fun year... hopefully XD

Cheers.

-L

Mar 26

Day of hw.

and yes, I have finished alge (it was due 20 mins ago XD)

-L

Mar 25

Stats test today... yay... don't I have just a FANTASTIC week? XD

-L

Mar 24

Presentation day... more yay -.-

-L

Mar 23

Midterm day - yay >.>

note to self: must finish biz crap sometime (yesterday)

-L

Mar 19

no class day, yay =]

-L

Mar 18

Wednesday... you know what that means = hell.

-L

Mar 17 - Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! =D

Obviously not anymore (on the three seconds thing)

I need to be off, if you know what I mean... >.>

-L

Mar 16

In case I forget... again XD I'm stressing out biz ... saddd XD

I care too much. This is not worth wasting my life -.- >.> getting older by the moment ::wrinkles:: -.-

-L

Mar 13

Write here. because I totally hate fridays XD

-L

Mar 12

It's thursday again... I gotta do some work, but meh. XD

-L

Mar 11

I am a sad child. XD

-L

Mar 10

Yay let the entertainment-ing begin... again XD

=)

-L

Mar 9

Aren't you surprised I'm up this early

And why is that link for you? when you posted it on my comments >.>

Just temptation, no es amor.

It's Lin Alge Midterm 2 today. wish me luck.

-L

Mar 6

Teeheehee. I'm alone today. =[

-L

Mar 5

You know what Thurs is... calc time + free time, cuz I got no econ... teeheehee.

-L

Mar 4

:: zombie ::

-L

Mar 3

hallelujah, I have a couple days reprieve before hell begins again. (aka 1 day, but w/e)

so lez CC =P

-L

It's peanut butter jelly time! XD

It's peanut butter jelly time,

peanut butter jelly time,

peanut butter jelly time.

Where he at,

where he at,

where he at,

where he at.

There he go,

there he go,

there he go,

there he go.

Peanut butter jelly,

peanut butter jelly,

peanut butter jelly,

peanut butter jelly.

Do the peanut butter jelly,

peanut butter jelly,

peanut butter jelly

with a baseball bat.

Peanut butter jelly,

peanut butter jelly,

peanut butter jelly

with a baseball bat.

... yes I'm digressing. but I LUV it XD

-L

Feb 27

Biz today.

I will prolly be on till 5:30 XD

entertain me. This week rlly sux.

-L

Feb 26

Biz test tmr,

So I'll be on. =) (naturally, duh =P)

Entertain me in my hrs of suffering XD

-L

Feb 25

I have a stats test today, so dude I prolly won't answer promptly (not that I ever do >.> lolz)

Just vent if you like. =) and you KNOW I'll be doing major venting tonight -.-

Happy commenting.

-L

... and hope you finished PDENG (such evil that it deserves full caps, non? XD)

Feb 24

dude, I just got pwned by calc... like serious, major, rapage -.-

so if I become a puddle of blood (by pure self/calc-loathing), you'll know why. =(

-L

Feb 23

daily dose of spread all your pain on me has come backeth avec vengeance.

I'm hyper on chocolate... hahah >.>

going back to 'loo now XD

-L

Toradora

awesome anime.

right now, ep 9 is THE BEST EFFING EPISODE EVERRRRR!!!

on youtube, it's split into 3 parts,

2/3 is the most hilarious one. "bam...bam...BAM!!!" ROFLLLZ

3/3 is the awesome part =) kawaiii ^^

happy watching !!!

-L

Feb 20

recap: remember fail = no more ps.

dude, i think u meant the opposite >.>

-L

Feb 19

drive your boredom awayyyyyyyyyyy XD

-L

I have an attention span of a five year old...

... That's probably being generous.

Anyway, I'm in CS class right now and zoning out every 5 seconds, quite literally. The voice of the prof fades in and out of my attention span; nothing is sticking. Okay, so he's talking about floats and integers in Python... i.e. boring.

But oh my goodness, I have another hour of this to go through. I need to download Python... Thoughts scattering; and thus I shall close.

-L

Starry Starry Night - Don McLean

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land. 

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now. 

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand. 

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now. 

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you. 

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow. 

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will... 

-L

(haha sorry Steven, but I gotta have my lyrics XD... OCD)

Chen Chat

for helping cure your boredom XD

:: these comments are at your disposal; use at leisure ::

=)

-L

Quotes from Blink (on going)

Predicting divorce, like tracking Morse Code operators, is pattern recognition.

In negative sentiment override states, people draw lasting conclusions about each other.
It's really hard to change those states, and those states determine whether when one party tries to repair things, the other party sees that as repair or hostile manipulation.

"Some go up, some go down" ... "But once they start going down, toward negative emotion, 94% will continue going down. They start on a bad course and they can't correct it. I don't think of this as just a slice in time. It's an indication of how they view their whole relationship."

You can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of exposure to a public face.

In order to make somebody laugh, you have to be interesting, and in order to be interesting, you have to do something mean. Comedy comes out of anger, and interesting comes out of angry; otherwise there is no conflict.

Our world requires that decisions be sourced and footnoted, and if we say how we feel, we must be prepared to elaborate on why we feel that way.

We need to respect the fact that it is possible to know without knowing why we know and accept that - sometimes - we're better off that way.

They suggest that what we think of as free will is largely an illusion: much of the time, we are simply operating on automatic pilot, and the way we think and act - and how well we think and act on the spur of the moment - are a lot more susceptible to outside influences than we realize.

We don't want to stand there endlessly talking through our options. Sometimes we're better off if the mind behind the locked door makes our decisions for us.

Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can change our first impressions - we can alter the way we thin-slice - by change the experiences that comprise those impressions.

Shy Boy - Katie Melua

I'm sittin' in the window of a street cafe
Watchin' you walking by each day,
It seems that you always wanna look my way
Hey, you can't deny, boy,
You're such a shy boy.

So good looking you seem to be
But you're too tongue-tied to say hi to me,
You could make it happen so easily
Woah, I'll tell you why boy
Cuz I'm looking for a shy boy

Most guys advertise
By making eyes and telling lies
If you only knew,
You could make your dreams come true
All you gotta do is ask me to

If this was a quiz on a TV show
And the prize was a guy who would love me so
Whatever they ask, the answer I know
Hey, my reply boy
Is gimme a shy boy.

Most guys advertise
By making eyes and telling lies
If you only knew
You could make your dreams come true
All you gotta do is ask me to

Some guys act a bit too sure
And maybe you're thinkin' that less is more
But Honey, you still gotta knock on my door
Hey, just try boy,
And you could be my boy

I'll tell you why boy
I'm looking for a shy boy,
Just try boy, you're such a shy boy


-L

...

JobFair Epic Fail

1. I got there really late because of unforeseen circumstances and the scarcity of supply vs. demand. oh how economics laugh at me now.

2. It takes a long time to get there.

3. JobFair filled with people looking for graduates/full time/laurier biz students (yawr, seriously for the last bit - diff coop systems)

4. I got back at 4:30... missing my stats test (forfeiting... so I must ace the rest of them)

oddly, I dont feel too bad about it now. But I know it's gonna come back and bite me in the ass soon... but w/e I'll deal if/when it happens

-L

exerpt from Why Do I (I think)

Why write, when no-one is reading?
Why speak, when no-one is listening?
Why touch, when no-one can feel?
Why act, when no-one is watching?
Why ask why, when no-one cares?

Why not?


-L
(no i didnt write this)

Things to Do

in order of important/immediate need:

1. Read biz stuff + do worksheet for it / Group Case. (right now, done before 5 pm)

2. STUDY STATS sec 4.1-5.1 (test on wed ahhhhh) (done before wed) >.>

3. Prep for job fair on wed (shud still go to all classes) (done before wed)

4. Do Calc... (at wed i s'pose... spilling in thurs)

week end stuff:

5. STUDY ALGE!!! (before midterm on monday)

6. Do CS assn 4

7. Finish Biz Group Case

next week stuff:

8. Stats Quiz/ Calc assn again...

READING WEEK... YAY...

9. Study for calc midterm on monday

10. Biz Midterm on friday

11. Stats Test

12. Various assignments...

ahhh, the repetitive routine...

-L

Everywhere - Michelle Branch

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
you're never there
And every time I sleep
you're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
you might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
it's you I breathe
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?


-L

because I just accidentally fell upon it. old song, eh XD

yaaaawwwwwwwwwwn

got cs midterm tmr.

% studied: 0

% wasted: 100%

I hate alge.

>.>

just watch i epically fail -.-

ahhh i hate jobminez >.>

-L

Eternally Bored. And confused about life.

okay, so I need to start picking better places for blogging, but whatever I just feel like rambling on and on right now about nothing...

So I'm in calc tut, where the TA is trying so desperately to make us understand (those of us who are paying attention) exactly how to work certain questions in the new assignment. And I'm just here, trying to figure out the last question.

Quite simply, I don't effing understand, anything. At all.

-...........-

I feel like I'm losing one of my resolutions - which is to understand for the sake of learning and development - not to mechanically churn out assignments and tests like an effing memorizing machine.

So.

::goes back to being a dumbass -.- ::

-L

P.S. goddamnit, I feel soooo fuckiiingggg discourageddddd.... SOB

I hate diagonals.

As promised.

Spiel.

Yay lunar 2009! XD

how anticlimatic was that eh =P

-L

Happy Niu Year

Just watched the last bit of the annual spring festival show (cuz I didnt wake up early enuff for the rest of it) so iz officially the new year in china. I'll be doing another spiel tmr, I guess XD but i'll be in loo so meh XD at least I'll be with friends =)

But I got to watch 周华建 so I'm happy about that.

Anyway nothing rlly special, but a friend's post on msn is rlly fitting for the occasion:

怀念的气息和雪花一起飘落。 突然，就想起了你们。 （I changed some words around, but the gist is the same)

much love,

-L

New Year's Resolution

... because I'm chinese, so it seems more fitting to do one at this moment XD

1. try best to enjoy what i choose to do, especially for those choices that are hardly choices at all
2. accept that i choose not to... sometimes
3. try best to understand the circumstances and all internal wiring related to why I do 1, 2
4. control process

5. academically - dont fall behind. understand stuff more so than mechanically churning out assignments/tests - see the merit, or the lack thereof - good for self-understanding, esp later

6. accept things i cannot change. change things i cannot accept. whichever is stronger. this is no longer a funny quote.

7. make courage happen.

8. open as many opportunities as i can see (even a glimmer), and more importantly, learn how to open them effectively.

9. laugh. have/create genuine things to smile for.

10. very important: get over stuff. from little thing to big things. spilled milk/oil spill is not coming back into the glass/ship nice and neatly. no point in worrying about it. I know this, yet I stress. so this must change. All I must do is learn from these situations and deal with similar cases different in the future.

11. apply 10 to certain specific situation(s).

-L

Jobmine

This thing rlly eats a lot of time... just getting through the format and finding the job postings is a pain... then afterwards - filtering a "short"list is bitch like nothing else.

After 1003492734098230942308 filters, I finally had a list (not short either) for tailoring... me chance for actually getting a job is tres low. But whatever, I'll take it as an experience and just write my heart away... Pray for good fortune. Pray for 2nd round.

Naw, praying is not my style. =P

I'm going to enjoy what may come and tolerate it if it's not particularly enjoyable. hehe.

Here's some notes for myself:
Do Op for NVP
Do Calc
Finish Alge
LEARN STATS (like seriously, wtf is happening in class???)
...
Start various other assns.


Much love,

-L

Oh yawr, tailoring for jobmine is top priority atm.

In Love with a Girl

- Gavin DeGraw

So many people gonna say that they want you,
To try to get you thinking they really care,
But there's nothing like the warmth of the one who has put in the time and you know he's gonna be there,
Back your border when she knows someone crossed it,
Don't let nobody put you down, who you're with
Take the pain of protecting your name, from the crutch to the cane to the highwire

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)

Out the many broken backdoors and windows,
Through the valley of the love of the lost,
Is a hole that is cut through the souls falling down from the thrones without leaving any windows,
But you drown in a piece for the moment,
The moment was over in time,
Then it's gone the hit and run the tactless one has a short life

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)

Gonna tell you what you do to think you practice what you preach,
Now I know there's nothing we can't reach,
'cause the heart can't erase once it finds a place to be warm and welcome,
To be held in shelter

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her
Took my sweet time when I was bitter
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right
Give me that feeling every night
Wants to make love when I wanna fight
Now someone understands me
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
Who knows me better
Wants to make love when I wanna fight
Now someone understand me


-L

First day of sem 2.

I have 4 courses on mon/wed, 1 on tu/thurs and 3 on fri,
so here's today overview:

calc - the teacher is not a prof, but he's awesome (some short grad student XD)... class goes pretty fast but generally understandable - at least for now.

biz - prof has effectively, once again for the upteenth time, scared half of the class - but iz getting old. XD one gets a feeling of being treated as a kidengardener... but today was just the outline - maybe her actual teaching will be good. pending.

alge - if the prof was speaking in chinese - i'm 100% sure the class would be way more effective... as it is, he's not, and hence, the class is horrible - "what's going on" happens a lot - might consider switching (though unlikely because getting from laurier to loo in 10 mins is not fun)

stats - fun class mostly cuz the guy talked about nothing... and he's a sexyyyy man XD ok not the main reason =P but no weekly assignments, should be good

yes i'm very bored.

-L