Eternally Bored. And confused about life.

okay, so I need to start picking better places for blogging, but whatever I just feel like rambling on and on right now about nothing...

So I'm in calc tut, where the TA is trying so desperately to make us understand (those of us who are paying attention) exactly how to work certain questions in the new assignment. And I'm just here, trying to figure out the last question.

Quite simply, I don't effing understand, anything. At all.

-...........-

I feel like I'm losing one of my resolutions - which is to understand for the sake of learning and development - not to mechanically churn out assignments and tests like an effing memorizing machine.

So.

::goes back to being a dumbass -.- ::

-L

P.S. goddamnit, I feel soooo fuckiiingggg discourageddddd.... SOB

I hate diagonals.

As promised.

Spiel.

Yay lunar 2009! XD

how anticlimatic was that eh =P

-L

Happy Niu Year

Just watched the last bit of the annual spring festival show (cuz I didnt wake up early enuff for the rest of it) so iz officially the new year in china. I'll be doing another spiel tmr, I guess XD but i'll be in loo so meh XD at least I'll be with friends =)

But I got to watch 周华建 so I'm happy about that.

Anyway nothing rlly special, but a friend's post on msn is rlly fitting for the occasion:

怀念的气息和雪花一起飘落。 突然，就想起了你们。 （I changed some words around, but the gist is the same)

much love,

-L

New Year's Resolution

... because I'm chinese, so it seems more fitting to do one at this moment XD

1. try best to enjoy what i choose to do, especially for those choices that are hardly choices at all
2. accept that i choose not to... sometimes
3. try best to understand the circumstances and all internal wiring related to why I do 1, 2
4. control process

5. academically - dont fall behind. understand stuff more so than mechanically churning out assignments/tests - see the merit, or the lack thereof - good for self-understanding, esp later

6. accept things i cannot change. change things i cannot accept. whichever is stronger. this is no longer a funny quote.

7. make courage happen.

8. open as many opportunities as i can see (even a glimmer), and more importantly, learn how to open them effectively.

9. laugh. have/create genuine things to smile for.

10. very important: get over stuff. from little thing to big things. spilled milk/oil spill is not coming back into the glass/ship nice and neatly. no point in worrying about it. I know this, yet I stress. so this must change. All I must do is learn from these situations and deal with similar cases different in the future.

11. apply 10 to certain specific situation(s).

-L

Jobmine

This thing rlly eats a lot of time... just getting through the format and finding the job postings is a pain... then afterwards - filtering a "short"list is bitch like nothing else.

After 1003492734098230942308 filters, I finally had a list (not short either) for tailoring... me chance for actually getting a job is tres low. But whatever, I'll take it as an experience and just write my heart away... Pray for good fortune. Pray for 2nd round.

Naw, praying is not my style. =P

I'm going to enjoy what may come and tolerate it if it's not particularly enjoyable. hehe.

Here's some notes for myself:
Do Op for NVP
Do Calc
Finish Alge
LEARN STATS (like seriously, wtf is happening in class???)
...
Start various other assns.


Much love,

-L

Oh yawr, tailoring for jobmine is top priority atm.

In Love with a Girl

- Gavin DeGraw

So many people gonna say that they want you,
To try to get you thinking they really care,
But there's nothing like the warmth of the one who has put in the time and you know he's gonna be there,
Back your border when she knows someone crossed it,
Don't let nobody put you down, who you're with
Take the pain of protecting your name, from the crutch to the cane to the highwire

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)

Out the many broken backdoors and windows,
Through the valley of the love of the lost,
Is a hole that is cut through the souls falling down from the thrones without leaving any windows,
But you drown in a piece for the moment,
The moment was over in time,
Then it's gone the hit and run the tactless one has a short life

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)

Gonna tell you what you do to think you practice what you preach,
Now I know there's nothing we can't reach,
'cause the heart can't erase once it finds a place to be warm and welcome,
To be held in shelter

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her
Took my sweet time when I was bitter
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right
Give me that feeling every night
Wants to make love when I wanna fight
Now someone understands me
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)
Who knows me better
Wants to make love when I wanna fight
Now someone understand me


-L

First day of sem 2.

I have 4 courses on mon/wed, 1 on tu/thurs and 3 on fri,
so here's today overview:

calc - the teacher is not a prof, but he's awesome (some short grad student XD)... class goes pretty fast but generally understandable - at least for now.

biz - prof has effectively, once again for the upteenth time, scared half of the class - but iz getting old. XD one gets a feeling of being treated as a kidengardener... but today was just the outline - maybe her actual teaching will be good. pending.

alge - if the prof was speaking in chinese - i'm 100% sure the class would be way more effective... as it is, he's not, and hence, the class is horrible - "what's going on" happens a lot - might consider switching (though unlikely because getting from laurier to loo in 10 mins is not fun)

stats - fun class mostly cuz the guy talked about nothing... and he's a sexyyyy man XD ok not the main reason =P but no weekly assignments, should be good

yes i'm very bored.

-L